The Cost of Trust
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The following article has been excerpted from Looking for the One by David McIver.
The altar is packed with college students as I finish my Chapel message.
Many of them are on their knees. One young man catches my eye as we pray over those who have come forward. He is the last to approach the altar, but as he begins to kneel, he abruptly backs away. He shakes his head as he walks to the back of the sanctuary.
But instead of walking out the back door, he turns around and walks slowly back to the altar. His whole body is shaking as he begins to kneel. But once again, he backs away. This time his face appears to be angry.
As we watch and pray, suddenly, he throws himself facedown on the altar and begins to weep. Half an hour later, we find out why. About a year ago, he was in a vehicle with his fiancèe during a head-on collision. His life was spared, but his fiancèe died in his arms.
Today is the first time since the accident that he has been to an altar. More importantly, this is the day his trust in Jesus is restored.
At this chapel service, I shared a story that made no sense to me for many years. It seemed like God was being unfair to Moses. First, the background:
Moses never volunteered to be God’s spokesperson or lead the people to the promised land. He told God, “O Lord, I’m not very good with words… I get tongue-tied, and my words get tangled” (Exodus 4:10). God responded by telling him, “I will be with you as you speak, and I will instruct you in what to say” (Exodus 4:12).
Moses agrees to God’s plan, confronts Pharaoh, parts the Red Sea, and retires to play golf at Pebble Beach. (Not exactly.) After the Red Sea, he led the people out into the Desert of Zin. “There was no water for the people to drink at that place, so they rebelled against Moses and Aaron” (Numbers 20:2).
“The Lord said to Moses, ‘You and Aaron must take the staff and assemble the entire community. As the people watch, speak to the rock over there, and it will pour out its water. You will provide enough water from the rock to satisfy the whole community and their livestock.’
“So Moses did as he was told. He took the staff from the place where it was kept before the Lord. Then he and Aaron summoned the people to come and gather at the rock. ‘Listen, you rebels!’ he shouted. ‘Must we bring you water from this rock?’ Then Moses raised his hand and struck the rock twice with the staff, and water gushed out. So the entire community and their livestock drank their fill.
“But the Lord said to Moses and Aaron, ‘Because you did not trust me enough to demonstrate my holiness to the people of Israel, you will not lead them into the land I am giving them!’” (Number 20:7-12, emphasis mine)
When we understand how God views trust, we understand this story. The community did not trust God, so they died in the wilderness. Instead of speaking to the rock, Moses struck the rock. The price of his distrust was the promised land.
My childhood bedroom was adjacent to our family’s kitchen. Mom and Dad would talk about the unpaid bills and the financial pressure at night. As I listened, I became worried. Then I became afraid. Then I lost my trust. I was sure God was not going to take care of me. I could never have a marriage and family because I would never be able to provide for a family.
When I joined the team at PraiseLive in 1985, my salary was $12,000 a year. As Sherrie and I began our family, we started to have late-night conversations in our kitchen about finances. We were working two jobs; then we had three jobs. At times we had four jobs and were getting further and further behind. I was fighting exhaustion and fighting my fear that God is not able.
In 1998, I had the experience of reading With Christ in the School of Prayer by Andrew Murray. I was stunned. I pulled out my prayer journal, and all I saw were pages filled with requests for provision. I was praying for months for funds to purchase tires for the car. But the life of prayer Andrew described was a life of praying for his Kingdom. Praying for “daily bread” was part of prayer, but the secret to prayer was asking God what was on his heart.
I began to pray intently about the Kingdom of God. One night I was awakened and frightened by the presence of God. My room felt like it was illuminated. I managed to make my way to my office and spent the next several hours on my face. What was on God’s heart was a global media platform for his presence. He invited me to change our format to worship, the Word, and prayer. He spoke to me about broadcasting across Africa. Then he invited me to ask him to confirm his word to me. “Ask me for a gift of $500,000, but tell no one.”
When you have an area where you don’t trust God, this is the area where he reveals himself as trustworthy. My secret fear is lack of provision, and God knows I cannot accomplish his purpose for my life if I do not trust him.
As I knelt to pray, there was a calm assurance that I was praying for something on God’s heart. It didn’t matter that we were a rural ministry with headquarters surrounded by a cornfield. I said “Yes” to the invitation and asked for the confirmation.
Several weeks later, I received a phone call from someone who used to live in Minnesota and now lives over a thousand miles away. He was coming through the Twin Cities and asked if we could have dinner. He looked at me and said, “I was sitting on my deck, and the Lord told me that you had accepted an invitation from him. He told me I was to confirm the invitation.” With that, he slid a check across the table.
That night Sherrie and I got down on our knees. There was no celebration as we looked at a check for $400,000. But there was prayer because of the weight of the responsibility God was calling us to. The only puzzling part was the difference in the amount of the gift. The Holy Spirit had been so specific about the vision and the confirmation. The next day I received a call. “I missed God on the amount. I’m sending you another check.”
When the FedEx envelope arrived, I opened it fully expecting a check for $100,000. This check was for $300,000. Then the still small voice of the Holy Spirit. “What I am asking you to build is dear to my heart.”
I didn’t know we would wait twenty years for this vision to unfold. But in the waiting, I would remember the encounter with Jesus and the gifts that confirmed the vision. Today PraiseLive is available across almost all of Africa and the Middle East via satellite. We invite people to experience Jesus on FM signals across Africa.
Jesus is always worth the wait.
This is what I know about your life. If you ask Jesus what is on his heart, he will reveal something dear to his heart. He will also reveal something hidden in your heart. As you wait for the vision, Jesus is waiting for you.
Whenever I share about Moses and the promised land, I bring along a large iron wedge I have used when cutting wood. I explain that Satan’s goal is to drive a wedge between our heart and God’s heart. But for the wedge to have any power, the wedge needs an entry point.
The entry point is the first time you believe that your Father is not trustworthy. Satan knows if you believe God is not trustworthy, you will not believe what he says to you. This lie is the entry point for a thief whose goal is your destruction. “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy…” (John 10:10).
We might think our life is about accomplishing something for God. But God’s priority is always our heart. “Today when you hear his voice, don’t harden your hearts as Israel did when they rebelled, when they tested me in the wilderness. There your ancestors tested and tried my patience, even though they saw my miracles for forty years. So I was angry with them, and I said, ‘Their hearts always turn away from me. They refuse to do what I tell them.’ So in my anger I took an oath, ‘They will never enter my place of rest’” (Hebrews 3:7-11, italics mine).
It costs something to trust God. You stand in the desert, so thirsty that you want to go back to Egypt. But it costs far more not to trust him.
Your destiny is a land of promise you receive from your Father if you dare to trust him.
Stories of Seeing the Lost, Lonely, and Broken Through the Eyes of Jesus
“I would love to share my faith, but I don’t know what to say. My attempts feel awkward and forced. Sometimes, I push people away. I would never admit this, but I’ve started to avoid conversations about Jesus.”
Looking For The One is short stories about people experiencing Jesus in grocery stores, hospitals, and dugouts. Each story models walking with Jesus as He finds the lost through you.
As you witness the power of the gospel in your everyday life, you discover that the first life to be changed is yours.
Because as you look for the one, you become like the One.You become more like Jesus.
