A Prayer for Deep Confession
O Jesus, Wisdom of God, Eternal Truth, how brightly hath Thy divine light shone down on the sons of Adam!
How hath all Thy life, and every action of Thine, been to us, as it were, a light leading us on to the truth! How clearly hath the light of Thy heavenly teaching lit up the darkness! How full were all Thy works of lowliness; and long-suffering, and love, and self-denial; in a word, of every grace and virtue, so that in these were reflected the most perfect examples of all holiness!
Therefore, whatever is wanting to me, from these sources will I draw it. If in anything I shall happen to doubt, in Thy holy life as in a clear mirror will I look. For here I find rigorous self-denial, true obedience, profound humility, voluntary poverty, unutterable purity, marvellous patience, unchanging long-suffering, constant perseverance, and incomprehensible charity. Here, also, I find in all abundance, that of which we chiefly stand in need, infinite loving-kindness and mercy,—yea, and all the virtues that I can possibly think of in my heart, all these I clearly discover written down as on a tablet.
Of a truth, Thou art that book which the prophet saw written within and without, for all Thy life, both outward and inward, is full of spiritual teaching, and all virtue. Truly, whosoever, with the prophet eateth this book, and masticateth it well, shall find it sweet in his mouth, like honey.
O most pitiful Jesus, what labours didst Thou undergo, in seeking after and gathering together the lost sheep of the house of Israel! With what friendship and sweetness didst Thou recall them from their error to Thyself; how gently didst Thou smile upon them, and win them by Thy good deeds, and draw them by Thy love to Thy Father, now by the promise of heavenly gifts, now by the threats of the torments of hell, at one time by smiles, at another by upbraiding. What more couldst Thou have done unto this vine, that Thou hast not done? Oh! how earnestly didst Thou endeavour to plant Thy Father’s vineyard, without ever sparing Thyself in heat or cold, or in thirst or hunger, or in watchings or labours? For Thy Heart was ever glowing within Thee with an exceeding burning longing, as in a fiery furnace, to gain for Thy Father, and save the whole of Israel.
What shall I pay unto Thee, O sweet Jesus, for all these immense benefits of Thine? What is man, that Thou shouldst so thirst after his salvation, and suffer so much for his redemption, and labour so earnestly to draw him to Thy love? What is there in lost man in which Thou canst take delight? Of what use to Thee is the sinner in his uncleanness? Or what gain dost Thou look for from a vile and wretched worm of earth, that Thou placest Thy Heart so near him?
O gentlest Lover of men, why have I begun so late to love Thee? Why have I left Thee, the well-spring of virtue, and the vein of living waters? Why have I turned away from Thee, Who art the stream of spiritual favours, the abyss of graces, the highest good, and the mirror of all perfection? What madness hath overcome me, that I should not blush to offend so faithful a father, to anger so powerful a Lord? Alas! wretched man that I am, I have forsaken Thee, the Bread of angels, and in my exceeding want have filled myself with the husks of vicious pleasure, in order that I might satisfy my beastly appetites.
O, Restorer of nature, how glorious and beautiful didst Thou create me, and how full of corruption and foul have I made myself! For behold, my heart is turned aside, it is hard like adamant. My memory is scattered abroad, my understanding is darkened, my will is corrupted, my love is cold, my soul hath become a filthy thing, my spirit is relaxed and languisheth. I am wholly given up to my senses, I have become hateful and abominable. When Thou leavest me, I grieve not; I have fallen into the devils’ snare, and I see it not; they have struck me, and wounded me to death, and I feel it not; I have fallen to the gates of hell, and I mourn not.
Yet not even in this state, O most merciful God, dost Thou turn away from me Thy great and manifold mercy. Thou callest me to Thyself, who have gone far from Thee. Thou drawest me to Thee, who still refuse to come. Thou openest Thine arms to receive me, before I reach Thee. Thou bowest down Thy Head to give me the kiss of peace, who am still all unworthy and unclean. Thou preventest me, and meetest me with Thy grace, before I am reconciled to Thee. Thou pourest out Thy grace upon me, more quickly than I dare to ask it. Lastly, Thou feedest me with the most sweet bread of Thy chosen children, who am not worthy to be the last of Thy slaves. What more shall I ask of Thee?
For all these things my soul doth magnify Thee, and my spirit doth rejoice in Thee, O God, my Saviour. All my inward parts praise, and bless, and give thanks to Thee, O Lord, for Thy mercy over me is great. Oh! if Thou showest Thyself so loving to Thine enemies, my tender Jesus, what then art Thou to the friends of Thy Heart?
Moved, then, by the contemplation of this Thy immense mercy and goodness, I, a wretched and vile sinner, weighed down with the heavy burden of my numberless sins, come to Thee, O good Jesus! Very humbly do I cast myself at Thy feet, for Thou art full of grace, and exceedingly kind towards sinners, and it is, indeed, Thine own natural property ever to have mercy, and to spare, nay, even to show favour and kindness. Grant, I beseech Thee, that I may find the same grace which blessed Magdalen, Thy most fervent lover, obtained from Thee. Say unto my soul that word full of comfort which Thou spakest unto her: “Thy sins are forgiven thee.” For although my sins are beyond measure great, yet are they small when compared with Thy mercy.
O, sweet Jesus, help me, for indeed Thou canst; give me the desire of my heart, for in my deep lowliness and wretchedness I cry unto Thee! Forgive me much, that I may love Thee much, and may magnify and bless Thee. Heal me wholly, that I may wholly cleave unto Thee. Unburden me of my heavy load of sins, that I may freely and cheerfully follow Thee. Cast away all my sins into the abyss of Thy divine mercy, and then so grind them into dust, and bring them to nothing, that all remembrance of them may pass away from before Thee. For now I have determined with myself, from this time forward, never more to offend Thee, O my God.
Most tender Jesus, since I confess to Thee my wretchedness, show unto me, I beseech Thee, Thy goodness. All my wretchedness and poverty have I shown unto Thee, do Thou then open unto me the ample treasures of Thy grace, and at the same time apply to my sins and negligences all Thy toil, and labours, and all Thy good works, and all the merits of Thy most sacred Passion. Reconcile unto me Thy Father who is in heaven, and with whom Thou livest and reignest, Co-eternal God, world without end. Amen.
– Johannes Tauler